On behalf of myself, my Administration, and my constituents at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, I extend a most gracious thank you for the chance to express the student body's position regarding the study released by Mary Willingham and CNN.
If there were but one thing about which my studies at university and my time as Student Body President have confirmed it is that The Carolina Way is beyond reproach. It is indubitably outrageous that anyone could or would have occasion to question the educational superiority of this learned institution. My personal experience has led me to this truth, as I earned the opportunity to study at Oxford, even Cambridge, but lo, Carolina came calling. Sweet sweet Caroline, where the voice of Charles Kurault echoes through the pines, where the Old Well stands as a symbol of academic excellence, and of course where the wisdom of the ages is passed from professor to student and student-athlete. (It doesn't hurt that you rarely need your mackintosh and rubbers!) Alas, it is where learning and the spirit of athletics collide.